Thursday, April 7, 2016

That’s Not Music!-“No” by Meghan Trainor

Installment #3 of my new weekly series "That’s Not Music!": Jaded Dad Reviews Pop Songs

This week's song: “No” by Meghan Trainor

Writers: Meghan Trainor, Eric Frederic, Jacob Kasher

Chart Position (as I write this): #3 and climbing

Amount of Times I’ve Heard This Song (Estimated): Enough to know I don't want to hear it one more time

Instrumentation/Structure: The harmonies and basically everything about this song reminds me of Destiny's Child/early 2000s Beyonce. Unfortunately, Meghan Trainor is not Beyonce and it's 2016. The hook sits on top of a lonely little break beat and it's just thin and irritating.

Unforgivable Lyric: "I be like nah to the I, to the I, to the no, no, no!"

Of course I don't disagree with the sentiment of the song: don't harass women. Love it. The song has Meghan Trainor's trademark lyrical gimmick/well worn cliche worked into a mediocre hook, which is irritating in and of itself. A decent melody will cover a multitude of sins for me, but this song doesn't have even that. If you have a monotone hook, it should have a cool cadence, right? This one is like morse code: "My name (short) is (short) No (long)." Over and over. It reminds me of "My Name Is," and now that I'm thinking about it Eminem and Meghan Trainor really quite similar in that they are good imitators but their final product is only an imitation of something that is good (Antimetabole! Or maybe chiasmus! Not sure).

My kids’ opinion: Indifferent. They don't protest when I change the station.

My opinion: I just really can't stomach it, and I have pretty low standards. I immediately change the station.

Other Notes: Meghan Trainor is the Nickelback of pop/R&B.

If you please, leave a comment and let me know what you think about this song or my review.