Sunday, November 24, 2013

Games my kid plays

"Come here!"

My son wouldn't go nap the other day. I could hear him in the room talking away, so I went in to check on him. He was sitting on one end of the crib, and on the other end he had lined up all his stuffed animals, as if he were giving a speech and they were his audience.

We can understand most of what he says but some of it is still undecipherable, and the speech he was giving was mostly gibberish. I wondered what he was saying, I imagined it was something like this:

Junior: "After the revolution is over and the parents are overthrown, our first act shall be to abolish all naps!"

Crowd of stuffed animals: "Hooray!"

Junior: "You'll never get thrown in the washing machine again! There will be no bedtimes, no broccoli! And most of all..."

The crowd quiets and waits.

Junior: "All the ice cream we want! Breakfast, lunch, dinner!"

The crowd goes crazy.

His favorite toys to have in the bath are his toy cars, and he's always crashing them off the edge of the tub into the water and I wonder what he is imagining. Probably something like this:
On a dark and rainy evening two men in trench coats stand on a riverbank as a wrecker pulls a mangled car from the turbulent waters. 

Sergeant: "What do we have here, detective?" 

Detective: "Well, sarge, as best we can tell a Camaro, a Corvette and the Batmobile all took this curve a little fast and ended up in the river."

Sergeant: "That's quite a coincidence, wouldn't you say?"

Detective: "I'm pretty sure all three drivers were unconscious before they went into the water. I bet when we get the toxicology reports we'll find that they were drugged. We need to find out why."

Sergeant: "You'd better be right or it's your badge."

And his most favorite game of all is “Everything is Opposite.” I’ve tried to figure out what he’s thinking on this one.

Me: “Come here!”

Junior: (to himself) “Ok, that’s the signal to RUN.”