Sunday, February 3, 2013

Somehow it all turns to biscuit dough OR The effects of LIFE

I just renewed my driver's license and I don’t think I’ve ever had a more depressing experience.

First of all, the lovely people at the State of New Mexico Motor Vehicle Division insist on taking your picture. I asked if I could keep my old picture and they said they didn't do that anymore. Then they give you your old license back. I tried to make them keep the old one, but they wouldn't do it. Then they give you your new license so you can compare the two, which is where the depression comes in.

Curse you, Motor Vehicle Division! As if waiting in line for three hours wasn’t bad enough! As an additional service, here’s a picture of you when you were young and skinny, side by side with one of you four years later. Compare and enjoy! It's kind of like those “The Effects of Meth” things, only mine could be titled, “The effects of LIFE.”

I don’t like to think of myself as vain, but one of the worst things was my documented weight gain. For one, it has my weight printed on there, before and after, and that math is depressing. And then there are the pictures. In 2009 I was trim and svelte, but by 2013 it somehow all turns to biscuit dough. Plus, there are the visible signs of aging.

And it's not just weight gain and aging, it's also my eyes. In the 2009 license, my eyes sparkled with hope and promise, and in the 2013 one, my eyes are just... dead.

I know some of what caused my rapid physical and mental deterioration: In the time between licenses I graduated and started working for a living. Also, we had a baby and our bills quadrupled. I’m not knocking kids. I love mine. If the driver’s license could show my heart, you would see that it has grown three sizes. But man, having a kid takes a toll on you physically. The sleep loss alone is killer, not to mention all the other demands and stress. Sometimes it feels like my son is getting big and strong because he’s feeding off of my wife and I.

But enough pity-partying! I need to embrace the aging. One of the good things is: with age comes wisdom and freedom. Freedom from caring what other people think, and freedom to speak your mind. You’ve seen old people, they can’t stop speaking their minds. I know that one day I will be a cranky old senior citizen complaining about everything, and that thought makes me smile.

“Pull up your pants!” “Get a job!” “Get a haircut!” “Where’s my ointment?”

Just practicing.

Has anyone else had this same harrowing experience? Can you give me any tips on aging gracefully? As you can see, I need them.


  1. Somewhere in there you have to find time to focus on you, your health your wants. I have 2 and one on the way and I have felt that life has crept up on me, as a female I can try in vain to avoid wrinkles by buying some fancy cream but it doesn't change the fact that I'm still aging. I am happy though to do it I don't want to be 21 again I just want to feel that way. I'm trying to focus on healthy lifestyle; food, spirit, physical, mental ect. I guess all I can say is good luck!

  2. Ahhh --- the wonders of aging! I have three licenses to compare. THAT SUCKS EVEN WORSE than two! wish i have words of wisdom on aging gracefully for you but alas, i am on the same spot. now try having not one but TWO kids! that will really take its toll :)

  3. It's the angle, c'mon. The first shot looks like a picture from middle school where they contort you into an uncomfortable yet more flattering pose. The second one is a mug there something you'd like to share?

  4. I just got my passport photo taken and that was not pretty. Oh no! Is that my chin...s? Getting old sucks sometimes. Just can't eat like ya used to!

  5. As a nearly senior citizen at least on the 1st Wed. of every month I get the Senior discount at Albertson’s.

    I admit was hurt the 1st time a clerk suggested I was > 55 years old, but I've come to embrace the 10% off as one of the few perks I get in life. Still a ways of on the 65 discount but it's coming like the Mystery Truck with it’s unseen truck driver in the movie Duel.

    I'm just hoping that by the time I get the Senior Discount I still remember why I cared and can still carry myself in to the McDonalds Senior Center Breakfast unassisted on my own power. Don't believe me go check out MC D's at 9:30am. The bus 1st stop on Senior field trips. Granted most still drive and some even stop before they enter the dinning room. But it seems like the entire rest home 9:30-10:30. I’m kinda looking forward to having some time of my own, even though I can't eat anything at all without it showing up under my chin.

  6. My driver's license picture is HORRIBLE. I don't think anyone looks good. It's like a conspiracy to make you look horrible on the one item that you have to use everywhere. GAH.

  7. loonysuse sent me, so you have her to thank or disparage. I've been through the same driver's license agony, but when the lovely lady at the DMV asked if I still weighed the same, I looked her straight in the eye and answered "YES." It was only a difference of about a hundred pounds, so no big deal. I wish I could tell you how to age gracefully, but I don't seem to be doing it. I can tell you, though, that when I worked in a nursing home that the most popular patients who received lots of positive attention from the staff were the ones who laughed a lot. I'm going to follow you, and I hope you'll follow loonysuse and moi, Janie Junebug at



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