Sunday, December 18, 2011

You're not a real parent until you take a mouthful of mashed peas to the face

Junior has been doing solid food for over two months now but he hasn't gotten any better at it.

Now that he has teeth, he likes to chomp down on the spoon and not let go, so we spend most of feeding time trying to pry the spoon out of his mouth.

But his favorite thing to do lately is get a big mouthful of something and sneeze, spraying it all over whoever is feeding him. Especially if we are planning to go out afterward. Especially if I'm the one feeding him. When Junior sees us wearing clean clothes, he sees them as a fresh new canvas.

Doing laundry is kind of like strolling through a baby art museum: “And here we see a white dress shirt from Junior's Carrot Period. As we move through this wing you will see the museum's exclusive collection of green bean neck ties. And next we will see the 'Pants With Spit Up On The Crotch' exhibit.”

Junior also likes to paint himself. Here are some of Junior's looks:

I'm not doing so well with solid food myself. I'm eating too much of it, and Christmas time is a terrible time for trying to eat in moderation. The Top Christmas Activities are: 1. Eating and 2. Taking Pictures, a terrible combination for one's self esteem.

At my job someone has put chocolates and cookies in just about every available room: the mail room, the copier room, the break room, the front desk.

I hope Santa Claus brings me willpower for Christmas.

Anyone else having problems feeding baby? Or feeding themselves? Leave a comment if you please.