Sunday, December 4, 2011

Our vegas vacation

Before TMZ breaks the story I want to clear the air: I allowed some nude photos to be taken of me recently, but it never would have happened if the Transportation Security Administration wasn't racist.

That's right, I got full body scanned. I've never had to go through a full body scanner before, but this past weekend my wife and I flew to Las Vegas and airport security were full body scanning everyone with even remotely brown skin. This was our first time flying together and my wife is Latina, so I was guilty by association. They took one look at her and herded both of us through the full body scanner. I had never been scanned before but my wife said she gets scanned almost every time. As I sat putting my shoes and belt back on I watched the people that were getting scanned and they all happened to be minorities or people traveling with minorities, like myself. And if you had any kind of head covering or long beard, they swabbed all of your personal items for traces of explosives.

The TSA might have nude pictures of me and my wife, but the joke is on them because I snuck .6 extra ounces of contact solution onto the plane. We eventually made it Vegas, stayed for two nights and had the time of our lives. We left our baby with his maternal grandparents, so we got a full night's sleep for the first time in six months (longer for my wife). It was beautiful. I almost cried.

The second night we hit all these destinations:

That's A through L, friends. We were party animals and stayed out all night. This means the we've still got it. We're still cool. We're not succumbing to being old, boring parents.

That's a nice idea but truth be told we didn't mean to stay out all night. We just got lost and by the time we found our way back to the hotel it was time to go to the airport.

Does anyone else have cool vacation plans? Had any run-ins with the TSA?