Sunday, November 20, 2011

"It's always something"

Whenever things are going badly my mom always says, “Well, it's always something.” It's kind of her mantra.

She explains it like this: “Say your car is broken. Once you get your car fixed then your roof will be leaking. Once you get the roof fixed then your kid will be throwing up. And if your kid isn't throwing up then you need to go try and start your car 'cause it's probably broken again. That's life.”

I used to think she was just old and cynical, but now I'm starting to suspect she's right. For example, Junior had just started to sleep longer at night but this week he started teething and he's up all night again.

We couldn't figure out why he wouldn't sleep at first but then he started to show other symptoms of teething. For one, he started drooling enough gallons per hour to power a hydroelectric dam. Next, he developed an insatiable appetite for human flesh, a deep love of biting anyone who got within 20 feet of him, especially me. Once we had ruled out the possibility of him being a baby zombie, we put two and two together.

All of this makes me realize that he's getting older, and fast. Sometimes he will give me a stern look and he reminds me of my father-in-law. Granted, they do share a lot of genes, but it's still freaky.

He's also starting solid food. It wasn't easy at first, but it's getting better. Now I can feed him about a half bottle of baby food in one sitting. I feel pretty good until I realize most of the food ended up on the outside of him and me. These days I wear sweet potato colored clothing so when he inevitably spits all over me it doesn't show up so much. My kid can make a mouthful of pureed vegetables go pretty far.

All this growing up makes my wife sad, but I don't mind. She's worried about missing all his cute little baby moments but I'm like, “Psh, let's skip to the part where he sleeps through the night.”

But then we're back to “It's always something” because I'm sure that once he sleeps through the night he'll start doing something else that makes us lose sleep. Before too long I'll have to give him “the talk,” which I am not looking forward to. 

I guess it's OK if he stays a baby a little longer.

Anyone have any philosophies about wishing time away? Or know how to handle teething, carnivorous babies? Leave a comment if you please.