Sunday, October 30, 2011

Halloween is Junior's time to shine

Halloween is a new parent's favorite holiday for lots of reasons.

You get to take your already adorable child and dress him up in a cute little costume that multiplies his adorableness factor by one million. I don't know what it is about a miniature costume but it can turn an ugly baby into a cute one and a cute baby into a devastatingly attractive one.

And then – once your child has reached the pinnacle of cuteness - you get show him off to everyone in the neighborhood. Everyone knows a new parent likes nothing better than to show off his baby to assert that his baby is the cutest.

When you're a new parent out with your baby and you run into another parent with his baby it turns into a kind of baby battle. You ask how old the opposing baby is and exchange some small talk but really you're just trying to determine whose baby is cuter. It's like a baby turf war, and the winner gets to say, “Take your dumpy baby and get out of here! And I don't want to see you in the cereal aisle ever again!”

And let me just make it very clear that our kid is the epitome of adorability. If you want to challenge us you had better have a darn cute baby. Some of these kids are like bringing a knife to gun fight. “All of your genes and this is the best you could come up with?” I sneer at rival parents. “Come on! Give us a challenge.”

Halloween costumes make babies cuter, but they don't have the same effect on adults. Even so, there are a bunch of adults who still love to dress up and they get super annoyed with those who don't. I fall into the latter group, but my boss is adamantly pro-costume. She was totally scandalized when she found out I wasn't dressing up and told me so.

I don't have anything against adults dressing up, but personally I don't have any reason to dress up anymore. I'm grown and I can buy candy.

Do you dress up for Halloween as an adult? If you have a baby, what are you dressing him or her up as? Leave a comment if you please.