Monday, February 14, 2011

My mother-in-law takes a stand OR A boy, my foot!

We went in for The Big Ultrasound last week and what we found out has been the source of much contention and has divided our family.

First, let me say that the ultrasound tech took forever in revealing the gender. She asked us if we wanted to know, saw the eagerness in our eyes and then made sure that gender was the last thing she revealed. She tediously showed us the baby’s heart, brain, lungs, stomach, arms, legs, eyes, face, hands, feet, kneecaps, knuckles and bladder first.

According to the tech our baby was hiding behind the placenta, which is a disgusting place to hide if you ask me. She kept jabbing my wife with the ultrasound thingy, trying to coax the baby out of hiding. When the baby refused to budge she started saying things like, “Ooh, your baby is a brat! Your baby is very bad!” I started getting mad, like any parent who is told that their child is not the perfect angel that they think he is, especially because my wife immediately volunteered, “The baby gets that from his father.”

So I was already annoyed when the ultrasound tech added insult to injury by saying, “Ooh, he’s got a big head. Well, just look at his dad! I guess we know where he got the big head from.”

Excuse me,” I said, “we came here for an ultrasound, not amateur comedy hour.”

Not a huge fan of the ultrasound tech. Anyway, a half hour and a bunch of organs later she made the anti-climactic announcement of:

It’s a boy! There’s his peepee!”

Seriously? She has all this training and she’s calling it a “peepee”? Come on! Are we in the first grade? For our trouble we got six grainy ultrasound pictures. We called everyone and told them our news and everyone was happy for us except my mother-in-law, who spent the last four and a half months swearing that the baby is a girl. After scrutinizing the ultrasound pictures for a good long time my mother-in-law declared that the ultrasound tech did the ultrasound wrong and the controversial organ is actually a foot.


My mother-in-law also tried to get a bunch of people on her side. After an intense campaign with many impassioned, stirring speeches she got my brother-in-law and a couple other people to believe her foot theory.

I, on the other hand, like to think that the ultrasound tech was trained well enough to know the difference, but what do I know? I’m going to show the ultrasound pictures to some other people and see if they want to weigh in on the debate.

I feel bad for my son because everyone is scrutinizing his “peepee.” Awkward.

Has anyone had an ultrasound tech steer you wrong? (Or insult the size of your head?) Leave a comment if you please.