Thursday, November 18, 2010

"The Haunted Treadmill" and other weird tales OR Sweat Ghost Coast to Coast

I went to the gym the other day and I came back looking like this:

Can you see it? Can you see the sweat on my shirt that forms a terrifying face? My wife discovered it when I came home.

“You have a face on you shirt!” she said in a panicky voice. “A face! A face! Get away!”

I looked in the mirror and conceded she was right. I thought it was totally cool, but she was terrified. This was because she had just been watching trailers for scary movies, one of her favorite things to do. She's too squeamish to watch the actual movies, so she just watches tons of scary movie trailers instead. Then I wake up in the middle of the night with her on my side of the bed, latched onto me like a octopus.

I've had experiences with ghosts before, so I figure what happened was a guy got killed at the gym in a treadmill accident (it happens!) but the gym covered it up because they didn't want to lose business. Now the sweaty spirit of this poor spectral jogger inhabits the treadmill where he died, hoping some chubby guy who is trying to get back into shape will bring his sad story to light. When I was running he manifested himself through my, uh, sweat stains. Gross, I know, but he's a ghost and he just wants to get closure in any way he can.

Currently the ghost is haunting my laundry hamper. What do you use to get ghost out of your laundry? Shout? Club soda? Maybe you just wash them in really hot water, like you do to get rid of bedbugs.

It's creepy, and it gives me an excuse to stay away from the gym for awhile.

Has anyone else had ghost problems lately? Or does anyone have any scary trailer recommendations for my wife? Leave a comment if you please.