Monday, October 4, 2010

This might be an overshare but...

It is super easy to get fat but it is pure agony to try and get un-fat, and I may just quit trying.

I guess I don’t quite consider myself “fat” just yet. I like to think of myself as “chubby,” but I know with depressing certainty that “Chubby” is just a rest stop on the highway to Fatty Acres. It’s a super slippery slope because they road into Fatty Acres is paved with delicious things like donuts, pizza and ice cream; whereas the road out of Fatty Acres is bristling with miseries like exercising, sweating and healthy eating. It’s no wonder a lot of people arrive in Fatty Acres and retire there. It’s like the Hotel California.

I’m sure I’m not the only one to discover that it is not easy changing lifelong habits. Currently I’m on the road to Healthier Living but it is horrendously bumpy and my willpower keeps breaking down. I really miss all my friends back in Fatty Acres, too. Little Caesar doesn’t call as often as he used to. I send Ben and Jerry letters sometimes. Dr. Pepper still texts me now and again but it’s not the same.

Despite all this, my wife says she loves me just the way I am. The only reason people get skinny is to find a partner, and I’ve already got one locked in for forever. If my wife loves me the way I am, then why do I need to keep trying to be fit? Nobody likes an overachiever.

I think my reasoning is quite sound.