Monday, May 11, 2009

So-and-so Strikes Back and other stories OR Facebook, car accidents and ditching graduation

Well my graduate school experience has officially come to an end, thank goodness, but a bunch of funny stuff happened the last week and it was an awesome way to end my college career.

First, my roommate and So-and-so got back together. Isn’t that tender? I gave him the heads up about the ugly shoe thing. He immediately traded in his unsightly kicks for some shoes that would not clash with So-and-so’s high maintenance lifestyle and she took him back. I think he switched his major to pre-med too, just to be safe.

Then there was a string of car accidents, three in one week! The first accident unfortunately involved me rear-ending somebody. It’s really embarrassing to have to say to someone, “I’ll have to call you back, I just rear ended somebody,” and then to someone else, “Sorry I rear-ended you, I was on the phone.”

But as far as car accidents go, this was the perfect car accident. Seriously, neither car sustained much damage and I couldn’t have rear-ended a nicer person. Her name was Ida and we got to talk some while the police were finishing up their accident report. It made me think that this would make a great premise for a romantic comedy. Boy meets girl by rear-ending her car, they fall in love and get married by the traffic court judge.

Next, one of my roommates hit a pedestrian. He wasn’t paying attention because he was arguing with his annoying new girlfriend and just ran somebody over, no joke. Fortunately the pedestrian is ok.

The day after that his annoying new girlfriend was walking and got hit by a car. Somebody ran her over, and they beat me to it, ‘cause I was this close to doing it myself. She is ok, though, and will be around to annoy me for a while longer.

And in other news, I’m on Facebook. Sad, but true. As trendy and dorky as it is, I’m on Facebook, mostly I like “tagging” my friends in compromising pictures. I never post my “status,” though, because I am not so vain as to imagine that people care what I am doing at any given moment, but late one sleep deprived, paper-writing evening I posted my Facebook status as, “I'm pregnant.” Some of my friends posted smart-aleck comments immediately, like, “Aw, who’s the father?” and “Have you picked out a name?” Next I posted, “Only a few days late. False alarm,” which alternately disturbed and delighted some of my friends. I crack myself up.

This week a person I’ve written about in my blog actually read my blog, realized I was talking about them and yelled at me for it. Oh well. At least they are reading, right?

And then there was graduation, which I refused to go to. I wasn’t about to listen to a bunch of speeches and sit in an auditorium for four hours just to get an empty diploma holder and have somebody mispronounce my name. All my friends said I was lame for not going, but to me it seems like the people listening to speeches dressed in Harry Potter robes are the lame ones.

Just saying.