Monday, October 6, 2008

Re-recording life

I was thinking about it and thank goodness that when you’re leaving a message on someone’s phone you can go back and re-record it if you mess up.

Like when you get done you can press pound and it will say “If you’re satisfied press this key, if you want to re-record your message press this key.”

This came in handy one day when I was calling this girl and while I was leaving the message my voice cracked. It went something like this: “Hey just give me a call back when you have TiMe.”

I was mortified. Thankfully I had the presence of mind to quickly press pound and I got to go back and re-record it. Otherwise that humiliating moment would have been digitally preserved forever, cause who’s gonna erase a ridiculous message like that? I can picture it:

Girl #1: “I’m so bored. What should we do?”

Girl #2: “You wanna listen to that voicemail message again? It’s hilarious. I mean, go through puberty already! What a dork!”

Luckily I was saved by the power of pressing pound. Man, I love that feature. It’s a lifesaver. I wish I could do that with other things in life. Like, the next time I’m having a conversation with some girl and I realize “Oh, man. That sounded creepy,” I would simply press pound on my phone-of-life and give it another shot, re-recording it until I say the smoothest thing possible.

I would re-record a lot of stuff, believe you me. I would re-record all the times I fell on the ice or slipped on a wet floor or tripped on a crack in the sidewalk. I would re-record all the times I’ve tried to go in the “out” door or walked into something. I would re-record all the times I've called someone by the wrong name. I would re-record all the times I’ve asked someone when their due date was and what the sex of their child was only to realize they aren’t pregnant, just a little overweight. I would re-record the times I’ve made a “your mom” joke and then found out that the person’s mother was dead.

I would pretty much be the smoothest person ever. But I guess where’s the fun in that? I know I’d be sad if everyone else suddenly got a phone-of-life and became suddenly smooth. I like laughing at other people just as much as they like laughing at me.

Just be aware that if you leave me a message and your voice cracks, I'm never deleting it.