Monday, July 14, 2008

Déjà vu at graduate school OR Et tu, graduate school?

Last week I packed up all my stuff into my Chevy Prism and headed down south to start graduate school and I gotta say, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

The good news is I have been reunited with my three closest friends from my undergraduate days: lecture, textbook and multiple choice test. Oh, how I've missed you guys.

I guess I don't know really what I expected. Oh wait, yes I do. I expected grad school to be a little more than undergrad with extra reading, but how wrong I was! Between the two classes, in the first week alone they want me to read 13 chapters in four separate textbooks, 1 novel and 5 online articles. In my estimation that comes out to be approximately 686 pages in one week.

I can't do it. I'd rather die. I exaggerate a lot, but in this case I'm serious. I'd rather throw myself in front of a moving train than try and read that many pages in one week. Good thing I've also gotten reacquainted with another old college friend: faking it.

Then what do I do once I have obtained all this wonderful knowledge? Do I go to class and discuss and synthesize it with my professor and peers? Nope. We go to class and the teacher turns out the lights and turns on Power Point and proceeds to drone on about the corresponding slides for three hours and forty-five minutes! We are supposed to get two 15-minute breaks, but sometimes the teacher becomes so enraptured with hearing himself/herself talk that they forget to give us our breaks. So we just sit in the dark.

Other aspects of the grad school experience have let me down as well, like the weather. It has been overcast everyday, but it only rains when I am riding my bike to and from school so I get road gunk all over my pants and when I get to class it looks like I have bladder and bowel problems. I watch out the windows at other times but it never rains until I get on my bike.

And then there's my living situation. My roommate has a cat, so our house smells like cat, and consequently I am sure that I now smell like cat.

And the oven doesn't work. So I eat a lot of cereal. Like, breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert.

Hooray for higher education.