Monday, June 30, 2008

Country music is the new punk rock

Yeah, it’s true. Country music is more irritating to more people than punk rock, as it turns out. Who knew?

When I was an angry teenager I wanted to make people mad. I got into punk music, partly because it is loud and fast, but mostly because it offends a lot of people. My mom hated all of the songs I listened to growing up because the vocals could only be loosely termed as “singing,” most of the lyrics were vulgar and they were all played at the same tempo of 1,000 beats per minute.

And once you’re into punk music you have to have get into punk fashion, meaning you rip up your clothes, put spikes and safety pins on everything and get a weird haircut, all equally annoying to parents.

Now I’ve mellowed with age and my tastes have diversified. To the horror of my parents and “punk” siblings, my horizons have broadened so much that I’ve even gone down that dark road called “country music”. I’ve even gone so far as to buy a few CDs.

I was playing some Brad Paisley the other day and my mom walked in and made an angry face. “Do we have to listen to this? I wish you’d only play this when I’m not home. Or out of the state”

My brothers and I were driving in my car and I was playing some Sara Evans and you’ve never seen people so upset. “What is this? Pull over! Let me out! I’ll walk before I listen to this crap!”

I still like to antagonize people a little bit, so country music is perfect for me because it is more divisive than religion and politics put together.

I think I will get a cowboy hat and some boots. That might send them right over the edge.